What’s in a name?
My fiancé and I are getting married in 307 days. We’ve been saying for about that long that we’d be going on a diet to be able to look our best for the wedding. Some stats for you: Dylan is 6’4, 225lbs (goal weight: 190lbs), and a quirky and adorable gentleman. I’m Kaitie, and I’m 5’10, 160lbs (goal weight: 135lbs) and have a mouth dirtier than the Taco Bell Combo Burrito I ate for breakfast. That’s where MOST of the “dirty” in this blog comes from, because I can’t speak more than 15 words in a row without cursing. And now that we’re past that, all filters are out the fucking window.
Another thing to know about me: I have no cooking experience. I didn’t own a blender until 20 minutes ago, but I watch just as much Hell’s Kitchen as the rest of you, so I could probably sear a scallop.
Anyway, the other 5% of the “dirty,” and the “REAL” is derived from the fact that nobody can eat 100% Paleo. If you think any of these assholes on Pinterest and Tumblr are eating 100% like our slouched ancestors before us… well, that’s a damn joke. So, we are /mostly/ Paleo.
By this, I mean that we are cutting out the following foods:
- Gluten of any kind
- Potatoes/legumes of any kind
- Cereal grains
- Corn (is that a cereal grain?)
- 95% of sugar
- Dairy
- Drinks other than water and green tea
- and anything processed.
We are trying as best as we can to eat only fruits, vegetables, and meats, seasoned with limited amount of salt, and fresh herbs and spices.
Today, while shopping for and starting to cook our first week of Paleo meals, I realized how ridiculously impossible it is to eat THAT clean. I deadass sat in the store staring (sobbing) at the butter, asking myself, “can I really give up BUTTER?”
20 minutes later, the answer was no. For my sanity and for Dylan’s, I will not give up butter. But I’ll use it sparingly. That’s what else is “real” about this blog. We’re going to do our damn best to eat clean, but we’re humans in the 21st century. I lived through the disasters that were 2016 and 2017. I deserve butter and orange juice that I didn’t have to squeeze my damn self.
Also, I’m not going to take 400 years to stage photos of food that probably won’t even taste good. So you’re getting photos straight from my phone. And I won’t spend no $15 on any single ingredient. We’re saving for a wedding– this is Paleo-ballin’ on a budget, my dudes.
Tomorrow is the first day of 2018 and the first day of probably several weeks of caffeine and fast food withdrawal. Happy friggin’ New Year.
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